EDELOGUES.

I'd like to try sober blogging

2011-12-06T12:29:00.002+08:00

I haven't been drunk for quite some time now. That's pretty surprising because alcohol is one of the few things that gets me by in my silently-screaming life. I should really get myself sobered up really soon, as my body is dying to be abused.

So you know this guy, Edgar Allan Poe? Siya ang gusto kong peg sa susunod na blog entries ko. HAHAHA.

Okay wait. I should get going and think of what I have done over the weekend for German 14. Truth is, Ich habe nie gemacht. XD

NOW PLAYING: Keane, Everybody's Changing

I am totally in the mood for crying

2011-12-02T22:35:00.002+08:00

Funny. Mi amigos think that I can sustain an insurmountable amount of laughter any given Friday, what they don't know is something they would never know. I'm miserable because of a lot of things I wouldn't dare enumerate. It's getting more painful by the day, really painful.

I'd probably not go for an emotional overkill here.

U in my dreams again?

2011-11-29T07:07:00.004+08:00

This can't be happening.

You know what I feel like doing today?

2011-11-25T08:04:00.002+08:00

Procrastinating like a pro.

*wink*

Sembreyk 2011 with some prebirthday drama

2011-10-22T21:06:00.004+08:00

So eto na, I have been slacking off for a week now and yet none of my goddamn pre-sembreak plans have been achieved so far. I simply wanna get drunk real hard. Rarr. I still have a few weeks left though. Mananalig muna ako. HAHAHA. And I gotta see my old bitches that I have not seen since God knows when. I mean, we gotta do some bitchin' around this side of Manila, and make fetch happen. ;)

66% of my academic grades are out, and luckily enough they are nowhere near the 66% mark. HOHO. Syempre they still remind me of how much petiks I did last term, pero carrybells lang. GL Card and I still got relatively good grades. Do better na lang ngayong second sem!

BITCHES! Ilang kembot na lang at magbebirthday na ulet akembang. I'm turning 22, btw, on this year's most badass date: 11/11/11! I removed my birthday on Facebook so I would know who amongst my friends are bound to be forgotten na. LOLS. Oh yeah, plural yan ng Laughing Out Loud. I ain't asking for any present, I just need a goddamn blast soon. Bakit kasi hino-hoard ang mga pogi sa QC? HAHA.

I think I have to revive this regardless if no bitch reads it

2011-08-04T23:23:00.002+08:00

Alright. I totally need an outlet for my emotions right now. And if you happen to know me, you'd probably not expect this kind of silliness from this bitch right here.

Dude, I feel like shit. It seems that all the good things in life are ganging up against me to pull me down, when I'm nowhere to be found up there. TOTAL EMO MOMENT ko ngayon. Perhaps several years from now, babasahin ko 'to at mababaduyan sa younger self ko. I am actually beyond the point of caring. So tutuloy ko pa rin. HAHAHA.

We all have that person we like so much but will never have. Period. That pretty much ends the story of my boring life. Napapakanta tuloy ako ng 'You're the one that I want' from the GREASE OST. The song is so damn upbeat, pero nananalig akong hindi naman necessary na slow ballad ang mga awit para sa aking shitty feelings. XDD Sana maalala ko pa 10 years from now kung sino ba ang tinutukoy ko sa post na 'to. Sabi kasi ng prof ko last summer the stuff we publish online are, to simply put it, immortal.

Sana okay na ako bukas.

Teenager No More

2009-11-11T21:15:00.003+08:00

Six years of being a teenager had been bloody beautiful. It is stuffed with an overwhelming amount of memories that I will forever have in my super gigabrain. Youth is so beautiful that all of us have fallen in love with it. Ha-ha. Credits go to Yann Martel. Now I really feel that I'm getting older since I'm starting dread the inevitable fact that I am on my early twenties. Oh shit! Why does time fly so fast?

Because of the unfathomable number of ageless and non-volatile cache in my mind, I really can't tell exactly which thing happened when. I had so much fun being a teenage mutant ninja asshole that everything just flashes back randomly when déjà vu plays on me. And every time it does, I am left thunderstruck. Jesus. Why do I have to get old? Can't we remain as kids for the rest of our effing lives? This, apparently, makes me realize that I've acquired Peter Pan Syndrome. (Has anyone heard of such? Google comes in handy.) It's weird, I know. I'm not really afraid to get old and assume responsibility (or perhaps I am) but maybe it's just that I am not ready to be older yet. *Sigh* But do I have a choice?

The next ten years and so will be a long way to go. And I am hoping and crossing my fingers and knocking on wood and wishing upon a star that death would not knock on my door yet and I will finally have the time of my life. Like the pinnacle of contentment. Like the summit of my lifetime. (Alright, the emphasis ends there.) Life is difficult, and people often say "Welcome to the real world". We do not live in Utopia. We were born to die. We are all damned. I'm sorry? Are you fucking serious? I think otherwise. We are responsible. We have control over the proclivity of our life. Life is how we make it. Life is fully subjective and objective at the same respect. Life is ours. There's no such thing as the real world; (it's) just a lie you've got to rise above. This time, credits go to the exceptionally talented John Mayer.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Am I writing any sense here? Well perhaps I am just making a big deal since this day marks the second decade of my existence in this planet. Happy Birthday to teenager-no-more-me! My wish? I'd like a hello. Ha-ha. Guess 'til your head bleeds.

The best Harry Potter film to date

2009-07-17T17:56:00.005+08:00

Fine. I tried my best to put off my biased fascination on the Harry Potter film franchise - all of which I acquired simply because the Rowling books had me spellbound since I was 13 - before writing this review.

The verdict: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is the best prelude I can ever think of to an explosive conclusion. There was a good balance between the darkness, magic and humor on this one, and the realness of this sequel gives this flick more heart. Kudos to David Yates! The storytelling has minor flaws (of course) but the creme of British acting (Rickman, Gambon, Broadbent, and Bonham Carter to name a few) surrounding the ever adorable trio (Radcliffe, Watson, Grint) strengthened the movie. Steve Kloves' screenplay is very appropriate and as always he plays his cards very well making this flick the best Potter film to date, at least for me and for most fans and for most film critics. The special effects and the musical scoring helped HP6 to be as visually arresting as it's supposed to be and I need not to be a film academy graduate to say that the impeccable cinematography and the humorous bites of Half-Blood Prince have complemented each other.

I think this movie is worth the wait. It's been two years since HP5 and I absolutely loved the transition. 'The Boy Who Lived' franchise is not losing grip on a good silverscreen storytelling, and I seriously doubt if flicks about immortal vampires would make a feat close enough to dethrone the world's beloved wizard.

On Facebragging

2009-07-13T21:08:00.007+08:00

Whatever the world have become that most of us find it so unappealing? Suddenly, it seems that everyone you know is on Facebook, and they have become wrigglers.

I've been in Facebook for over a year now. Since day one, I've been seeing how the people in my list (I hardly consider some of them my friends) behave differently compared to real life. Well, I guess we all know what I'm trying to say here. There is too much showing off in Facebook. Too much of anything is bad enough. It knocks the hell out of me I've become an apostle. A little more of this overdrawings and I will become Christ.

Facebook is the saving grace of our hunger for hyperbolization. It gives us the freedom to tell the world how gluttonous we are with the last food we ate, what was our last trip to Utopia like, and how profoundly silly our last thought about life was. Everybody avoids to fall off the radar. Everyone wants to be 'in the know'. Even the tiniest and dumbest of things like getting drenched in the rain and blaming the umbrella's absence is posted in Facebook followed by the most complex chain of emoticons for intensity. And they think that people will sympathize for their rainy-day-misfortune. Really?

Everybody projects a surrogate persona which more likely than not, bears little resemblance to mundane reality. We redesign ourselves with our redundant activities, camwhoring for one, so we would feel cool no matter how humdrum our actual lives are. Okay okay okay. Perhaps our human insecurities are in its extremes, and Facebook quenches it. Pathetic.

And above all, the process of making friends online is so easy in contrast to how difficult to find one in real life. I don't need to expound. We all know how to make friends the human way. But of course the Facebook way is far easier. Most of us find this amusing, without taking into account its perils to our culture and society.

The world's most popular social networking website is a miracle of this civilization. Just a century ago, it takes ages to get aged news from a friend living in a distant place. [Snail mail, baby] A century after, people are updated with each other's schemes in a blink of an eye through the online grapevine. Isn't that miraculous? Or perhaps plain 'revolutionary' would describe it better. Maybe that's a good thing, but all good has its evil.

The cliché 'my life is an open book' is now literally defined in one's Facebook account. And this calls for me to raise a hue and cry. Have we ever thought that we bore each other in Facebook with our unnecessary waking thoughts and good-for-nothing musings? Do we believe that stuff like Facebook is the stage for our insane theatrics? Do we really think that our friends love it when our facebraggings overflow their news feeds?

Don't get me wrong. I actually love Facebook. But not Facebrag. So please, to all you facebraggarts, shut it!

Transformers 2 made my head spin

2009-07-02T15:11:00.008+08:00

Warning: If you're seeking for a spoiler, you cannot find a lot in here.

I just saw the Michael Bay film yesterday. It was an easy decision to spend 200 pesos to see the flick at The Block's D-Cinema. First, I felt like seeing a movie on a drizzly Wednesday afternoon; and second, I have thought of my blog.

Or perhaps it’s also because a lot of people have been saying how 'awesome' (duh the word) Transformers 2 is. Well, let me tell you this.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is an ultra-hyped-up live action flick fit for little boys who are dying to see alien-robot-and-human coexistence, and of course the undeniably hot Megan Fox for the big boys. I feel that the movie is way too lengthy for a silly plot. Isn't it all about the good Autobots who have acquired new members versus the evil Decepticons who found a new leader with The Fallen? Fighting each other? Outliving one another? To save the earth from being deprived of the sun? Oh yes, that was it. I was half-asleep all throughout the movie and occasionally awakened by the cinema's surround sound whatever because I knew that in the end, the Autobots will win. Nothing new, and nothing astute: and I was right.

By the way, isn't it that apart from the insignia (which happens to be very inconspicuous) you can tell the Autobots from the Decepticons by their color? It seems to me that most of the goody robots are happily colored while the evil ones are just plain gray or black or simply monochromatic. And yeah, the eyes: Blue from red. Clever, 'cause all of them look the same to me.

Michael Bay throws everything in, from robots to humans and warships to aircrafts. Even the earth's antiquities! Everything is falling and flying until nothing seems to make sense anymore. Mind you, that was for more than two hours. I was like "Okay, so that's it. Happy New Year everyone!" while my eyes are rolling.

Then there goes this stupid college kid who has a ridiculously sexy girlfriend and an irrelevant roommate who are destined to save the world. Really? I mean if the characters were not as blunt as they truly are maybe I would have bought the scheme. It seems to me that all of the human characters are just as robotic as the Transformers. Or maybe worse, for at least we saw Bumblebee shed some tears.

Jessica Zafra was right, Megan Fox's boobs should get a seperate billing. Don't mind her vanilla acting, she's just hot.

The most remarkable Transformers 2 thing to me is the soundtrack. I am liking Greenday's 21 Guns and Linkin Park's New Divide. And yes, The Fray's Never Say Never. Oh good lord. At least the OST is good, enough for me to remember that there's this certain robot movie that I once saw in a crazy-weathered Wednesday afternoon.

I would not stop anyone from watching Transformers. Not until the third and hopefully the last film comes out in 2011. Watch it until your ears bleed. That's what it all seemed to me.

We are free, aren't we?

2009-06-12T19:14:00.008+08:00

Today is June 12, and it's a legal holiday in the Philippines. Oh yes, it's a holiday far more important than all religious holidays known to the Pinoy calendar combined. This day is about that scene printed on the reverse side of our obsolete five-peso banknotes. Yes, that is it. Just so you know, it’s the 111th Anniversary of Philippine Independence. Filipinos from a not-so-distant past shed life and blood for our independence. However, many modern-day Filipinos take it for granted.

It's disappointing to know that most Filipinos fail to remember how similarly important our Twelfth of June is to the Americans' Fourth of July. I guess students know it by heart, since it means taking a day off from school. And for the working population, it means earning twice their daily wage. It seems that we define all holidays in the same way - an opportunity to amuse ourselves with unusual passions. We tend to forget the integrity of our Independence Day, and the essence of this date is diverted into our personal interpretations - which are usually standoffish. Well, I guess one of the major reasons is our reverence for 'imported' things and 'greener pastures'. These things gradually consume our national identity and pollute our culture with ideals mostly from both east and west. The result, a culture suffering from an identity crisis – a society prone of being mocked and ridiculed. We are victims of our self-inflicted preference over what is made by posh societies. And the only thing left for us to do is to love our country. How come many of us find that one hard?

Independence is not absolute. One way or another, an iron hand manipulates our ways of living. Our indifference about the realities of this society only triggers these aristocrats to pollute us even more. Keeping our eyes half-open is formidable. Social awareness is paramount. Their arbitrary exercise of power does not give us the favor. We are the ones getting the worst of it. We are the ones losing grip on our freedom. Chances are, the time that we live in our own accord is diminishing. Do we really want that?

Action shall take place.

Every Filipino should give this day the respect and honor it deserves. The integrity of this date is like Christmas in a nationalistic perspective. We owe our loyalty to our country, similar as to how religious zealots owe their faiths to Christ. At these times, an Independence Day celebration has become a half-hearted effort to keep our culture and sovereignty from being overthrown by our own actions. Let it stop. Change shall start now. Take pride of being a Filipino, grow up from our diffidence, and fight against the retrogression of our culture and national identity. Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!

Where to start? That's what I want you to know. We can't afford a trial balloon.

Inclemency.

2009-06-03T15:47:00.004+08:00

Summer.

As a child, the word used to excite me. It simply means the end of another insignificant school year. It is a beginning of a seemingly never-ending series of playing and engagement into trivialities. Summer means getting up from bed early and going out to explore what the world has to offer li'l kids. It is a time when lazybones file their vacation leaves most frequently to enjoy the bliss of the sun. Summer used to be perfect. However, perfection is not meant to last forever.

Today, summer means surviving a 34-degree afternoon heat. It's about how staying still and trying to get a nap is far more tiring than losing weight. Walking outdoors is a dread, seriously. Staying under the sun is suicide. The weather already makes us wish for the summer solstice to completely perish if possible. And above all, it's a sign of a dying earth - a planet bound to burn and sink in high waters.

Why summer, why?

We've got only one earth and we cannot take to our heels. Hotter summer days are on the calendar to make us feel what hell's like. The heat is on! Good thing the rainy days are here again. Oh did I say it's a good thing? Actually, the rain is here to make the traffic in Manila worse and some fatal diseases rampant. Streets will turn into rivers. And the city people will be breathing in moist smog. Splendid!

Is there hope? I do not know. Maybe there is.

This is why I don't feel like having my own kids. I shudder to think how horrendous the world will be in the future. And then they will complain about the mundane cataclysms of their time. They will suffer the wraths of Mommy Earth. And then I will die of guilt for being responsible for their existence.

Minuscule thoughts on a 21st Century bargain

2009-05-15T16:39:00.005+08:00

I have always been amused with the internet. But not as to how it works. All I care about is that I have YouTube, Facebook, Edelogues, and other blah blahs right at my fingertips. I don't give a damn about things like ipconfig or tracert or DNS server. I could only care less for whatever a TCP/IP is and to how HTML is spoken. Or what a packet is for and why there is cache. Learning these words is like learning the rhinoceran language -- stuff my mind rejects inadvertently; words that spawn void thoughts or dopey daydreams, and the like. Good thing is, I get paid to digest those jargons. Ha-ha.

What kind of Operating System do surgeons use? Where on the map is my IP address? Does Broadband play good music? Nah. I am not really born to speak the language; I'm lost in translation. I can use the internet without having to know what a Hyper Text Transfer Protocol is. Heavens! No matter how clueless I am with the technical framework of the web, I'm still a big fan of it.

I have to admit, the internet yields wonders. Hitchhiking along cable lines is made possible. It creates a new country where every user is a bonafide citizen; where everybody is spared with an alter ego (or alter egos for most of us) to make fools out of their selves. It's a place that succumbs distances - demystifying the invisible cultural margins of the real world. It is where everyone can nail their colors to the mast for the world to see. True enough, it's the haven for our faceless individuality. Amazing.

However, it has also become the battlefield of the pygmies and the titans and the Average Joes. Mortals fight each other to prove who's immortal beneath a lonesome sky of uncertainty. Adam and Eve are making love everywhere, while God and Satan are seen talking things over at Starbucks (of all places). These are just some of the most beautiful absurdities we may find in the web. However, just like in real life, we give it a second look; and then we give it a blind eye for the rest of our lives.

The internet definitely changed the world and its people. It's a different world inside the world we live in. It's like everyone is standing at the threshold of a completely crazy-and-witty universe. It has one disability though, it can't be true to what it shows us all the time. It can only be amazingly vague and ambiguous and far-fetched. It can't think properly. It can't talk. It can't convey emotions. It can't be like human. Nothing compares to the power of the human mind. It's the ultimate source of wisdom and truth. Perhaps in the future, brains will be able to connect to another brain wirelessly to transmit truths. Ha-ha. I'll be long gone before the Jimmy Neutrons of the world figure that out. But I wouldn't mind to be reincarnated live in a world on a bleeding edge.

It's fun to exist in this era. The Information Age is taking a stride, and we are already having fun with the never-ending ride. We are yet to see more. Fasten your seatbelts!

CREDITS: Photo courtesy of karakarton

To the hand that rocked my cradle.

2009-05-10T14:30:00.005+08:00

If I were damned of body and soul,

I know whose prayers would make me whole...

—from "Mother o' Mine" by Rudyard Kipling

Since today is Mother's Day, I won't let it end without saying something about my Nanay (it's how native Pinoys call their moms in the Philippines). Mothers simply rule the world.

I've spent my entire life a breath away from where my mother is. Since then, I have always felt heaven blessed. She never walked past me, instead she showed me the way at all times although I keep on paving my own way towards a different world. The resonance of her voice kept me alive for nineteen years and for more years to come. The warmth of her love is so powerful I can only ask for more.

Mothers know best. However, I am not sure if my Nanay knows everything about me. Maybe she knows what I am capable of before I realize it. Or perhaps she's just letting me live my life so I can get one for myself. Either way is admirable. Either way is reason enough for me to love her even more.

My Nanay is my life. And wherever my feet take me, I'd bring the things my nanay taught me. I love you, Nay!

To all moms in the world, Happy Mother's Day!

Racing against time.

2009-05-03T19:04:00.057+08:00

Tell you what. Time has never been on our side. It passes by so quickly when you want it to last; it hangs heavy when you want it to end; and when it's gone you can't have it back. Now I understand why time is gold, because there's so little of it and in some cases you won't even find it. Time is the most precious intangible thing there is. We keep on saying we can't find time to do something. Of course we have got no time, come on! Chances are we end up doing nothing at all. Perfect.

I'd be lying if I say I never wasted time. Well everybody's a liar if they say such. Answering Facebook quizzes is definitely a waste of time. I'm guilty as charged. Being stuck in traffic is another, although we can't avoid it. (Blogging isn't. Ha-ha.) And sometimes, we do something just for the heck of it. Haste makes waste, baby. I guess not so many of the human population realize how short our lives are. The average lifespan of humans is 66.57 years.* And if we keep on wasting time every single day, then I guess we will be living only half of our lives and we don't get to see the plenitude of its beauty. Let's be fair to ourselves.

Like me. Instead of busying myself with school, I am wasting my time working in contact centers and pretending to be a yuppie. Time flies when you're having fun -- and I'm not. I am delighted by the fact that I am already earning my own cash, but that doesn't make me complacent. And besides, the stress makes me look way beyond my age. I see people giving me the look of incredulity on their faces when I admit that I am still on my teenage years. Whatever! I dreamed a dream, and this isn't what I dreamed of. I should start making the most out of my time. I want to be more than what I could possibly be. And I think I know now which road to take - the one less traveled by, and I hope that will make the difference. Ha-ha.

What I want is simple. I'd like to go back to school and find my niche. The time is ripe.

I've been on Earth for nearly two decades, long enough for life to get rid of me. But I hope not. I still owe myself a lot. I still have to see what's left to be seen in this world. I am positive that all the beauty I've witnessed is merely one percent of its entirety. And when I grow old, death will let me feel the beauty of peacefulness - numb from the pain of living. Isn't that amazing?

Ok. I am not sure what I am trying to point out here. But hey you? Don't you think it's a waste of time reading this?

_________________

*CIA World Factbook

A Chapter Ends

2009-04-18T09:12:00.006+08:00

Newsflash. I have lost my job. I did not resign, nor have I been a victim of the global recession. The job got rid of me because it realized I wasn't born for that kind of thing. You may think I am trying to paper over the cracks, but I really do not care. I know I am right. We are all born for something, aren't we? And apparently, I haven't seen the light in this call center. The plug has been pulled and I'm glad I'm free.

It was my first job and I learned some things from it -- to say the least (oh yeah!). I've grown up by leaps and bounds. I guess my mind grew a few weeks older than my real age yet my childhood musings remained integral. I met amazing people who tried to make the best and worst out of me, and I brushed off those who don't matter. I got drunk and smoked cigars - it wasn't so bad after all. I cussed as often as every minute and I always mean it for nothing. I spoke with sarcasm, but I only implied the truth. And most of the time, I am jaded and lost.

Well, the priceless things are the lessons about life. The job taught me the value of money. Now I know that money can be liquefied in an instant, well at least not literally. Saving really counts especially when the world has nothing left to save. We can never rule out the setbacks of hunger when you are a living thing. Money matters: it can never buy happiness but it can buy you food and ultimately, a life.

Perhaps speaking with people from different cultural backgrounds strengthened my individuality. It helped me appreciate my own gifts and those of others. I acquired tolerance. Now that's maturity. Or maybe not. I also learned that some people measure and judge others based on numbers (at least, my TL isn't one of them). How can they be so obtuse? These people do not outthink, for they are not thinking at all; nor do they outdo, because they are doing nothing good. They will brand you stupid if you get four out of five. Nobody's perfect and nobody's stupid. I guess that disproves their belief. No one can be good at everything, that's a fact of life. It's great I won't be seeing those self-absorbed technocrats anymore.

My teammates were awesome, we are all different but we are all different. Oh yeah, we're just different! Its different strokes for different folks. They are not just my teammates, they have become my audience. I will miss them, seriously.

And since I've only got a thousand pesos left in my wallet, I guess it's time to update my CV after I publish this entry. Then I will return to my previous job as a job hunter, and that doesn't excite me at all. Heavens.

I've been somewhere. However, I did not find myself. I am still the empty bottle that needs to be filled in. Nature abhors vacuum, so I know I will not die empty.

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CREDITS: Photo by *deepcreek.

Slings and Arrows.

2009-04-12T10:37:00.012+08:00

Maybe it is just hard to live in an imperfect world, where equality is often overshadowed by pride; where justice is a luxury of the wealthy; and where differences are talked out of both sides of the mouth. Unity is easier to tear down than to build up. In fact, it has never recognized permanence. Being human is not always a good thing then. We are born to suffer the mere consequence of existence - the ire of slings and arrows. I've got to say the world isn't so wonderful after all.

Having a job who allows me to talk to various accents every day, I learned many of the prejudices people contain against other races. This is an insidious disease of man; however it is so obvious only an animal would not see it. Stereotypes are prejudices with limitations, and generalizations are the complete opposite. Either way, it's still an impression against people of the same color. It is not the idea of a wonderful world, or people living as one, or a better place for you and me.

Recently, I've lost my temper with a retired American soldier-slash-paranoid-slash-racist because he insists that Yahoo! is owned by communist North Korea. This old man is very off-the-wall about North Korea being a threat to mankind; 'cause he says (or the media told him) they are proliferating nuclear armistice that will kill millions. What surprised me most is when he said that I am a North Korean, and I am stalking his identity 'cause I am deprived of one. I laughed, and then I told him I am a Filipino and I'd rather have my last leaf fall in my country than in his. Now I am the racist. He was defensive, saying that the Philippines is the land of the servants trying to steal the freedom of America. Duh? I did not rebut, since I know it will be immature to do so. I let him say whatever he wanted, without paying any attention. He was really weird. "History proves that the US invaded the Philippines in the 1940s for capital gains. Doesn't that make you realize that your country is the imperialist?” I asked. Then he was silent. Ha-ha. Maybe that hit him hard. "I feel sorry for you because it seems you have a narrow understanding of what is really happening in the world, go back to school and seek education." Sure it was never the most profound statement ('cause it was mean), but I think that's enough to shut him up. Then I hang up.

That wasn't the first time I encountered such a person. I talked to someone a few months back who said something about Asian people trying to speak a language they are not born to speak, pretending to live a first-world lifestyle. I almost lost my temper. That was completely harsh. I asked him, with the slightest apathy I could muster, that whenever he visits a different country, isn't he looking for some native who speaks English to entertain his questions? Ha-ha. That was so rude of me. But he was mean enough to provoke my rancor. Then he started to mellow down, as if he didn't say anything wrong.

These are few of my personal experiences. And it makes me think that bigotry is indeed present in a globalized society. In fact, it has always been. The simple reason? Ignorance. While all forms of racial prejudice manifest itself in the planet of humans, the single underlying reason delves even deeper into our cultures. I am just hopeful for the world to strike a happy medium against all odds.

I am not a racist; at least I try not to be one.

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IMAGE: © 2004-2009 moisture.deviantart.com

Thoughts from way back.

2009-04-06T11:52:00.002+08:00

The moment my young soul (I used to believe people have souls) came face-to-face with the Do-Re-Mis and ABC's of nature, I remember I was delighted. It's similar to the exhilaration of a child on Christmas mornings as they open their gifts from under the tree. However, I knew there was so much more outside of gift boxes. Life is beautiful.

My day starts and ends with a glass of milk, and what goes between is playing around (and making stupid objects out of Lego blocks). I was a young sinner, 'cause I was envious of a kid from a stupid TV show because his pets can talk, and mine could not. I run wherever my feet take me until I find my way back home. Kids never get tired, so did I. I laugh on funny little things and I weep when my body can't stand pain, feelings I thought others didn't feel at all. Maybe I was just oblivious to the world, and that has been preserved inside me since then. I go to school and I remember that I try to make my coloring skills exceptional. Perfection was a hundred-to-one. We sing songs of happiness and ease, "if you're happy and you know it clap your hands", that blinds us from the realities of life.

Beneath those petty schemes, I also contemplated the future as a child. I once believed that adulthood is the coming true of a fairy tale. Like meeting God when you're lost in the city of the dead, or finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I'm glad I've grown up from that thought 'cause it was never true after all. I also considered that if I plant all the seeds I collect under the ground, the world will be a greener planet someday. Maybe it's true, but come on. The Clean and Green campaign was quite a popular slogan back in the day. I keep on hearing "Ang kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan.", and I was amused. I knew the nation and the rest of the world really needs some serious help. Jose Rizal died in 1896, but how many generations of youth have grown old since then? Have we claimed the truth on Rizal's prospect? I really do not know. It was my first practice of reality check.

Once, I was a child. A child who takes joy of simplicities and miracles. A child who is naive and is always on the gray area of truth and lies. A child who thinks he can get away with anything, who pries on anything new, who boldly says anything on the point of no return.

Well, I guess that's how it usually is in the eyes of a child. My mother didn't tell me about the risks of talking to strangers. Good thing was I just don't talk to anyone at all. I learned to talk to myself. I've seen the world in a different way, yet it made no difference in me.

Looking at things in retrospect, I really think I was born with a major glitch inside my cranium.